have i

had a bad dream afew days back.. so bad i hope it never will happen.. have been having dreams this few days.. dunno why, maybe its the stress from my exams... its making me having difficulty slpin at nite.. thinking too much? or afraid of falling asleep and havin those dreams again

lying on the bed, i suddenly tot of something, have i done anything for the past 23yrs that made my parents proud of me?

i dun recall any.. what have i done for the past 23yrs to make my parents be proud of?
i dun remember any..

so much so that i want to do well for my uni and grad with good results, i too want to make my parents be proud of..

sighx...

feeling all down lately for the pass few mths...

not having much positive tots at all..

i feel useless as a son

i know my parents have high hopes for me though they dun say it, but i know how they feel..

and i am seriously very afraid to let them down.. they are getting old.. and i have never made anything to let them be proud of their son..

so damn stress with exams i often felt like giving up.. i've to force myself to study these few days.. but the more i force, the less i study..

nothing seems to be getting into my head..

i always dream of being someone great..

but...

i guess i have no confidence in myself anymore..

sighx..

my life feels blank from my point of view.. no colourful pictures..